Ask the FMA characters
by silver neko baka
Summary: Oh great! Another one!
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everybody! I've been seeing these thing popping up all over the place and I thought "hey! This looks like fun!" so I thought I'd give it a try! Let me go over the rules with you people. **

** I will except any question no matter how silly or random it may be because I'm a silly random person myself and I would be a hypocrite to discourage other's random awesomeness.**

** I will NOT, however, except any kind of offensive, inappropriate, question. **

** I dislike cussing but I won't not answer your question just because you used some minor profanity. I DO reserve the right to censor any cussing I find in said questions. **

** Please keep things appropriate to the rating. I know I have no control over what people send in other than to remove the story but I ask that you PLEASE keep this K+. (no heavy cussing, sexual references, etc.)**

** I will do my best to keep characters in character and deliver the best response I can to your questions. 'Cause I love writing for FMA characters! ^_^**

** Ask away!**

** -Silver Neko Baka**


	2. The First Questions

**ALRIGHT! I got my first reviews! I'm so happy! And the exclamation point on my keyboard is feeling very abused! Okay, on with the questions!**

This question is for Hughes from KimiUzumaki: What would you do if you had a boy instead of Alicia? Would you still show the pictures and act all "enchanted like?

Hughes: A boy hmm? Well I probably would still take pictures and show them to people. After all it really doesn't matter what gender my child is, it still fills me with pride as a parent to watch them grow up and take pictures of those special moments. *fatherly smile* Just like I'm so proud of my darling Alicia! Wanna see a picture? *pulls out about a hundred pictures of Alicia*

This next one is for Ling from AvaEobane: What were you thinking when LanFan came back and did you ever consider to confess to her?

Ling: I got a question? How'd you get me to come here again?

Silver: By promising you a whole pizza if you answered the questions.

Ling: Oh yeah… Well, of course I was happy to see her when she came back. We ARE friends after all. Um… confess to her? Well, me being the price of Xing and all… isn't that kind of inappropriate… and yes… Can I have my pizza now?

Silver: Cool beans. *hands him pizza* I swear I saw him blush!

Ling: *mouth full* NO I DIDN'T!


	3. Dares and Haicuts

**I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaack! **

**I do not own FMA, isn't it obvious?**

Okay so, the first questions are from DarknessLeadsMe for Ed and Greed.

First of all, Ed… WHY ARE YOU SO SHORT? XD *shot for overusing joke*

Ahem… *wipes blood off* So! Greed! :D You say that your goal is to have all the finer things in life. What would happen if you actually DID achieve that aspiration? What would you do then?

**Ed: ***holding gun* WHO ARE YOU CALLING A RUNT SO TINY HE HAS TO REACH UP TO TIE HIS SHOES YOU JERK!

**Al: ***Looks at DarknessLeadsMe* Are you alright?

**Greed:** Um… I haven't really thought that far ahead…

**Everyone:** *sweatdrop*

**Dorochet: **He'll probably never do it, there's new stuff constantly being invented.

These Next ones are from AvaEobane:

Winry: What were you thinking when Ed was taller than you?

Edward: What were you thinking when you realized that you are taller than Winry?

Roy: What about your relationship with your very own aide?

**Winry:** Well in a way I'm happy for him because he's always hated being short and it was good that he kind of got a break after all those years. On the other hand… I couldn't pick on him about that anymore!

**Ed:** HAHAHAHAHA! I TOLD YOU ALL! I'M NORMAL HIEGHT! I was thinking about how awesome it was that I had grown! …Not that I was ever short… *shifty eyes*

**Roy:** Relationship? With Hawkeye? I know nothing about anything of the sort! She's my subordinate, that's our relationship and that's all it'll ever be.

**Silver:** You're lying.

**Roy: **No I'm not!

**Silver: **You're sweating.

**Roy: **It's hot in here!

**Silver: ***Sprays Roy with a water hose* Better?

**Roy:** AHGH! MY GLOVES!

These are from FalseFacts:

Riza: Hypothetical situation: You've never met Roy, you've never been branded with your father's flame alchemy, and you have no knowledge of what's going on in Ishval. Where do you end up working? What sort of life do you think you'd be leading?

Maria Ross: So when you were hiding out in Xing did anything interesting happen? Do you have a crush on Denny or Roy? Also, (I mean this in the nicest way possible) whoever cuts your hair should be fired.

Fuhrer Bradley/Wrath: I know it was all just part of the plan but was it ever weird for you to be calling your eldest brother "son?"

**Riza:** Well though I have trouble imagining living my life any differently, I suppose for starters, suggesting that my father never branded me with his fame alchemy may also, in a way, suggest that he didn't become as obsessed with his work as he did so maybe, we would have had a closer relationship.

**Roy: ** WHAT! Are you saying you WISH you had that had never met me?

**Riza: ***rolls eyes* It a HYPOTHETICAL scenario, colonel! But if I'd never met Mustang that might indicate that my father never took him as an apprentice, so perhaps I would have become an alchemist, if he had trained me instead.

**Ross: **Well, not really, it was just what it sounds like, hiding out. Denny or Roy? Not really. Denny's my partner and he's a decent guy… most of the time. He drives me up the wall though, with his laziness, he's a bit nosy as well.

**Brosh: **T_T Stop picking on me!

**Ross: **And as for Roy, well, he's my superior, that's it. It's a bit hard to have a crush on someone who orders you around at work all the time. Also, I can't even begin to tell you how many people are put off by his sarcasm…

**Roy: **T_T She's picking on me too!

**Ross: **And I LIKE my hair this way! It doesn't get in my way when I'm doing things!

**Bradly: **Just a little. To be honest though, I really wasn't put in that situation that often. Work took up most of my time and most of the time when I saw Pride there weren't a lot of people around. *Narrows visible eye* How did YOU find out about the plan…

And these last questions are from DadumadooDa-dum-a-doo:

This is for all people present during this session:

If you were the opposite gender, what would your name be and how do you think it would change your life?

And I got a dare for Roy:

Roy, I dare you to kiss the person you love and if ya don't, you are a useless, cowardly, stupid, idiotic, stubborn, stupid idiot, who is stupid! And, also, you would be as useless as Ed without his automail arm! *proud evil smirk on face as this is said.

**Ed:** Um, if I was a girl… *thinking* …I don't know! How about Sarah?

**Silver: **You just picked something random didn't you?

**Ed: **No I didn't! What are you talking about? Anyway, I guess it would affect my life… hmm… I actually don't think it would affect me all that much. *Thinks: That was a GOOD question!*

**Greed: **If I was a girl I'd be a girl! And that's it! Though I'd never want to be a girl…

**Silver:** You just took the easiest way out, didn't you? -_-"

**Winry: **If I was a guy I guess I'd be named William (it's vaguely close to my name). And I guess it would change my life a bit. For one thing, people would stop looking at me funny when I tell them I'm a mechanic and when I go to buy new tools and stuff.

**Silver:** It would help if you didn't squee over the tools… GAH! *hit with wrench*

**Roy: **Me? A GIRL? HAHAHAHAHAHA! Not on your life!

**Havoc:** 'Cause then you couldn't steal my girlfriends?

**Roy:** HEY, SHUT UP, HAVOC!

**Riza:** If I was a boy… Hmm, I really don't know what my name would be… Alex, maybe? I like that name. And maybe if I was a boy, new recruits to the military would stop staring at me in shock when I shoot and stop flirting with me! *glares at new recruit*

**Recruit: **Ehehehehe… *edges away*

**Ross: **Maybe this idiot would listen to me more often if I was a guy. *points to Brosh*

**Brosh:** Actually, I think I'd listen to you less -_-"

**Bradly: **Well… Agh! What kind of a question is that!

(well he IS Wrath)

**Ed: **Whadda ya MEAN "useless as Ed without his automail arm?"

**Roy: ***eye twitches* stupid? Useless?

**Riza:** You know, sometime's I'm inclined to agree.

**Roy:** WHAT!

**Riza: **And don't you dare! There are people watching!

**Roy: **I wasn't going to!

**Ed: **Then you admit you're a stupid, useless, idiotic, idiot? WHAAA! *fried*


	4. I'm baaaaack!

**Whew, sorry it took so long to get back guys! Stupid history homework, I CURSE YOU!** Anyway, here's some questions from mii is miao mii:

How about...

for Ed, What'll happen if you're born in Ishval, Our world, Xing... AND in another anime as a girl! ( Ishval, Our world and Xing he's a boy)

What'll happen if Ed was drop in a herd of fangrils, milk and cows?

What'll happen if Ed read some fanfics?

And watch the anime?

And meet Hiromu Arakawa?( who is at the moment drawing him being persuade to drink milk by other fma characters, each of them holding a bottle of milk...Oh, and Winry took away his auto mail arm)

O and one final one what'll happen if ed(16 years old) meet up with the other Ed from the original Anime( the kid one, the 12 year old on a and the conquerer of Shambala one) And the one in brotherhood, the kid one the 12 year old one and the one that got married to Winry!

**Silver: **No question dodging, Ed. I'm curious about this one myself.

**Ed: **If I was born is Xing I would either get back at Ling for all the crap he put us through, or I'd shoot myself in the head because I had to live in a country RULED by that moron!

**Silver:** My, aren't you pleasant ? -_-'

**Ed: ***glare* If I was born in Ishval, that version of me would either have never become and alchemist, or become a rebel or an outcast. I think the latter would be more accurate because I think that no matter where I was born, I'd be interested in alchemy.

**Silver:** he's just saying that because it's what he's used to…

**Ed: **SHUT UP SILVER! Anyway, your world, huh? In a place where no alchemy exists? I'd have to say that I might become a chemist or something along those lines. I'd be able to continue using my talents that way. What's "anime?"

**Silver: **Eeeddd… don't pretend I didn't show you some anime before you came to answer this question.

**Ed: ***sighs* Well, if I WAS a girl in another anime, I'd want to at LEAST be able to take care of myself. Otherwise I'd be p(EEP)ed. *glares at Silver* You censoring me?

**Silver: **Nooooooo… *finger hovering over censorship button* Oh Ed, I'm sure we'd all like to know what anime you'd be in.

**Ed: ***mutters under breath*

**Silver:** We didn't catch that Edo-kun!

**Ed: ***screaming really fast* TOKYOMEWMEW!

**Silver: **O_o Wow… didn't see that coming…

**Ed:** *covers mouth* I-I didn't mean to…

**Silver:** *laughs* Awww… what would your mew name be?

**Ed:** Shaddup! If I were to drop into a herd of fangirls, milk, and cows, eh? RUN FOR MY FREAKIN LIFE! What is "fanfic?"

**Silver: ***sets up laptop*

**Ed: ***peeks curiously* OHMYFREAKINGOD! *falls out of chair* *points trembling finger at screen* W-who would write that about Al and I?

**Silver: **I second that.

**Envy: **WHAT THE CRAP!What the h(EEP) is this? Me and the Pipsqueak? In LOVE! I'll be right back, I have a site to destroy…

**Ed: **DON'T CALL ME SHORT YOU PALM TREE!

***several minutes later, Silver managed to pull the two apart with help from Lust and Roy***

**Ed: ***panting* Haa… haa… what's next? Watch the FMA anime? Since when do we live in an anime? Hahahahaha! ^_^

**Entire cast: ***laughing like it's the most ridiculous suggestion in the world*

**Ed:** Who's Hiromu Arakawa?

***Hiromu Arakawa appears randomly***

**Winry:** Ed, your automail looks like it needs a tune up. I'll just take that for a minute. *removes arm*

**Ed: ***looks at Arakawa's drawing* Hey that's pretty g- wait a minute… WHY THE H(EEP) AM I BEING PERSUADED TO DRINK MILK! *looks behind him to see every FMA character including every OC that's ever been invented standing behind him with a bottle of milk* OH D(EEP)IT! *flees*

***Later after Armstrong carried an angry, cussing a-lot Ed back to the studio***

**Ed:** *Looks at all Eds* *Point's to kid Ed* First off, I was NEVER that short! *points to Conqueror of Shamballa Ed) I would NEVER dress like that! *Points to adult Ed* HOLY CRAP I'M S-SO T-TALL! T_T *both fma and fmab Ed's look at each other*

**Both: **WHAT THE H(EEP)! AM I REALLY THAT SHORT! *glare*

**Fma Ed: **WHO ARE YOU CALLING A RUNT SO TINY HE HAS TO REACH UP TO TIE HIS SHOES YOU JERK!

**Fmab Ed:** WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL HE COULD HIDE BEHIND A GRAIN OF RICE AND NEVER BE SEEN!

**Silver:** tsk tsk… *clicks fingers and all Ed's disappear except the original.

**Ed: ***still ranting at the empty space*

And some from FalseFacts:

You know Riza, I never really thought of it like that before. I always knew you were smarter then me.

Riza: In episode 37 of the original series what were you dreaming about? Was it what we were all thinking? ;) Which was more devastating; Seeing Roy get shot in the eye by Frank Archer or hearing from Lust that she'd killed him?

Roy: Ok regardless of your personal feelings about yaoi you must pick between these two pairings: Roy X Ed or Roy X Maes. You know what I'm making this a dare because I know you won't answer otherwise.

Maes: Hi Hughes!I hope you aware of the fact that you are undoubtedly the bestest father, that being said who would you say is the WORST father in FMA? Also exactly how many photos of Elicia do you have?

Your dare is to go hug Envy for no less then 5 minutes *evil laugh*

Fuery: Because you are notoriously known as the most innocent member of Roy's team I dare you to sneak into Roy's office without getting caught(by anyone) and I want you to destroy all of his ignition gloves so he can't make any flames.

Edward: After all that you went through in your short career as a State Alchemist, would you allow your children to become Alchemists?

**Riza: ***bluuuush* I-I don't know what you're talking about! *clears throat* I'd have to say that seeing him get shot was worse. Homunculi, you never know if they're telling the truth so she might have been lying. Seeing him get shot, however, was a completely different matter.

**Roy: **Hmm… Ed's a loudmouth brat…

**Ed: **HEY YOU B(EEP)D!

**Roy:** and Maes would shove pictures of me in people's faces, which would be EXTREMELY embarrassing…

**Maes:** Oh, don't be such a gloomy-gus, Roy! I know what will cheer you up! *takes out wallet 'o doom* My beautiful daughter Alicia!

**Roy: **…hmm… I'd have to go with Ed. He'd probably kill me before the Yaoi fans could get too excited about it…

**Ed: **You're d(EEP) right I would! You b(EEP)d! … I knew you were gay -_-'

**Hughes: **Aww… thank you FalseFacts! The WORST father *suddenly serious*… Shou Tucker, without a doubt… Pictures? Hmm, let me see… *counting* 1, 2, 3…

***Two days later***

**Hughes: **1095, 1096, 1097… Almost done!

**All: ***sweat drop*

**Hughes: **E-Envy? *gulps* I thought you LIKED me!

**Envy: ***arm sword* Do it and die! …again… HEY! *tied with Homunculus proof ropes*

**Silver: **Go on Hughes! It's safe now!

**Hughes: ***gulps then cautiously hugs Envy*

**Random crowd of yaoi fangirls:** SQUEEEE!

**Envy: **I'M GONNA KILL YOU AGAIN AFTER THE FIVE MINUTES!

**Silver: ***arches eyebrow and points to the random crowd of Envy fangirls who are trying to get in and hurt Hughes for taking Envy away* I'll throw you to them if you try.

**Envy: ***Gulps and looks at Hughes* You're life is spared today…

**Fury: ***In Roy's office* Umm… now, how do you destroy them? You can't burn them… hmm…

**Roy: ***walks in* FURY!

**Fury: **O_O Meep! *runs out with a VERY angry colonel chasing him*

**Roy: **Get back here you little b(EEP)d!

**Ed: **Mmh? Well sure, if they really wanted to. But I'd do whatever I could to try and persuade them to become an alchemist who's independent form the state before I allowed them to become state alchemists. If there was no way to change their minds though, I'd allow them to do it.

**Well, that's it for now folks, please R&R! **


	5. OMG! ED DRANK MILK!

Here are some more from FalseFacts:

Maes: I do like you; in fact you're my third fave FMA character. I just couldn't resist.*smiles innocently* So where and when did you meet Gracia? I'm slightly surprised that you've never previously mentioned it. Also where'd you learn your awesome knife throwing skills?

Grumman: Roy and Riza seem to be completely unaware of the fact you are Riza's Grandfather and I was just wondering, are they pretending that they don't know or have you just not told them? And if so, why keep it a secret? You should defiantly tell them before they give you great grandkids.

Falman: At the end during the epilogue you were shown standing in front of two small children who share your same facial features and expression, are they your kids? Does this mean you met someone up in Briggs? Also congratulations on being promoted to Captain.

Riza: In the original series the only time that you are shown speaking to Hughes was when you were yelling at him on the phone in episode 5 and in Brotherhood you don't speak to him (or not that I can remember) Does this mean that you don't like Hughes?

**Huges: **So you torture me because I AM one of your favorites? That. Was. Not. Pleasant!

**Envy: **That goes DOUBLE for me. *eyes flash scarily*

**Everyone within two feet: **ehehehehe…. *edge away nervously*

**Hughes (be warned: this is a fanmade answer since it was never stated in cannon): **Well let me think. I believe that I met her like this…

"I think your lonely Roy!" Maes said into the phone speaker.

"Hughes, don't go where I know you're going," Roy grumbled on the other end.

"I think you- no I think we BOTH should find a nice girlfriend!" Maes chirped. His reply was immediately answered by the ticked off colonel slamming the phone down on his end of the line, "Roy?" he asked, "Um, Roy? Are you there?"

"Are you sure that YOU aren't the one who's lonely, Hughes?" Falman inquired.

Maes looked down at the phone sadly before hanging it up. "Well, there's that too," he sighed.

"Cheer up!" Brosh said, "I could try to do a little matchmaking if you'd like."

Hughes dismissed the comment with a wave of his hand. "When I get a girlfriend, I want her to come out with me because she LIKES me. Not because you set us up on a date and are sitting at a table a few feet away, looking at us every five minutes to see how we're getting along," he paused, "Do you even KNOW a girl you could set me up with?"

"Course I do!" Brosh shrugged. "Let me know if you change your mind," he said, "you never know, it might be worth it."

(line break)

Hughes answered a knock at the door the night after. A pretty young woman stood there looking at him.

"Um, hi?" Hughes asked awkwardly.

"Hi," she replied in the same tone, "I-I know this is awkward but my friend… he says you need a date."

The woman pointed at Brosh, who was leaning against a car looking very pleased with himself. When he saw Hughes, he gave him a small wink and the "thumbs up."

Hughes shot him a mildly irritated glance. He'd get him back for this later.

**Hughes: ***sigh* That date went better than I thought. We wound up ditching Denny at the restaurant because he kept looking over at us every two minutes and asking some random question. *laughs* And to think that woman and I got married a few years later! People meet in the strangest ways, I tell you. And I love her so MUCH! Here, wanna see a picture?

**Silver: ***Glances up ever so slightly* GAH! *five million pictures of Gracia shoved in face* *clears throat* Eh-hem, so Hughes, what about your mad knife throwing skillz?

**Hughes: ***blinks* Well, I'm in the military. Even in the investigations department it comes in handy to know how to use a weapon. Problem is, guns take too much time to prep. All the loading and cocking and everything, someone without many skills in combat like a member of investigations would be shot on the job before he or she could finish prepping the gun, as opposed to a military officer, who's trained for years and years to be able to shoot. Knives are much quicker to pull out when you're on the spot and it doesn't take much time to throw them if you've learned the proper aiming. Hawkeye taught me the aiming so now it's a piece of cake!

**Grumman: **They just pretend. Roy started it as a joke and he got Riza into it… now it's kind of out of hand…

**Silver: **no really? Ya THINK?

**Falman: **Thank you! Ehehehehe…. No, what gave you that idea… *runs and hides*

**Silver: **They're teenagers so they don't want to be around him very often.

**Falman: **My kids LOVE me and they DO want to be around me even though they're teenagers and I embarrass them!

**Silver: **so you admit it! They WERE your kids!

**Falman:** _ rats!

**Riza: **Mostly it's because the few times I spoke to him, we couldn't get through a single conversation without him gushing over his wife and kid. It's too much of a distraction for my liking.

**(she means they spoke before the series began)**

These are from Morpheus9494:

Edward

1) Do if you could switch places with Mr. Mustang for a day (as in you get his team, the rank, ect.) would you do it?

Breda and Falman  
>1) Do you feel sad over your small fanbase?<p>

Riza

1) Suppose Roy acted like a dog. Would you take him home and "take care" of him, or leave him of the street!

Roy

Act like a dog!

Winry

1) When did you first like Ed?

**Ed: **Switch places? With Mustang? I don't know, permanently or temporarily? If it was permanent then no, because I would be too busy with paperwork and stuff to search for the stone.

**Silver: **Mustang doesn't do HIS paperwork! *points at Mustang*

**Mustang: ***snaps at some important government document* HAHAHAHAHA! Whew! *calls to other room* LIEUTENANT! I'M DONE WITH MY PAPERWORK!

**Ed: **Shut up, b(EEP)d! If it was temporary though… *face breaks out in grin* WOOHOO! *destroys every flame alchemy glove Roy's left in his office and rips down the sign up list for his "mini skirt army* Ahh… I ALMOST wish it was permanent!

**Breda and Falman: **T_T must you point it out!

**Silver: **We'll take that as a "yes" shall we?

**Roy: ***snorts* I will never act like a dog!

**Silver: ***puts shock collar around Roy's neck*

**Roy: **AGH! *zapped* Woof! Woof! Woof! Thisispathetic! Woof! Woof! Ican'tbeleiveI'mdoingthis!

**Riza: ***looks at Roy* O_o sure… I'd take him home… I think…

**Roy: **Lieutenantyou'dbetternotleavemelikethis!

**Winry: **I think it might have been around the time he and Al tried to make a doll for me using alchemy.

**(think flash back during third episode)**

Here are a few more from Mii is miao mii:

What if Ed made a lot of angry existing OCs(only the ones who are in love with him) just because he went out with one of them?what'll they do? What'll Ed do?

What if Ed accidentaly drank milk? ( because he just woke up )

what if we get to meet Ed , not knowing he is Ed? ( meaning not knowing that he came from the other side of the gate)

what happen if Ed did crossdresing ( because he was bored) and got caught! ( hehe and they also got a few pics... And some of em nosebleed...)

what if Ed went back in time and meet hohemheim right after he became a philosophers stone?

What if...(hope I'm not asking toooooo much) Ed accdentally went to the wrong bath room...( you could think it through if you want to answer it... But please DO!)

...what if Ed was forced to cross the dessert to -Xing because Al was in trouble? Will he die half away or survive crossing it again to go back to Amestris afterwards?

**Random OC: **What do you MEAN you're going out with her? *points to another random OC*

**Other OC: **MEH *sticks tongue out*

**Ed: **U-um… well you see-

**Random OC: **Oh I SEE alright! You don't love me anymore! *breaks down crying*

**(Winry walks in) **

**Winry: **EDWARD!

**Ed: **GAH! *hit be wrench*

**Winry: **What's this I hear about you going out with another girl!

**Ed: **W-Winry! I-I'd never-

**OC #2: **"Never" what? Does that mean you don't really love me Edward? *goes off to emo corner*

**Ed: **No that's not it! It's just- AGH! *wrenched again*

**Winry:** So it IS true Edward! *crying* A-and I-I thou-thought w-what we h-had was sp-special!

**Ed: **ehehehe… *runs for his life*

**(Behind him you can hear girls sobbing and catfighting over Ed.)**

"Morning, Al!" Ed said sleepily as he sat down at the table.

"Morning brother!" Al said, "I was just helping out with breakfast."

"Eh, that's nice, Al," the blond-haired alchemist said absently, reaching across the table and grabbing a glass of what he assumed to be water.

"Er, brother," Al began, "That's Winry's glass of milk."

Ed's eyes went wide and he spat the milk back into the glass. "PFFT! Are you telling me that I just drank-" he cut himself off as he dashed over to the kitchen sink and began rinsing his mouth out.

"Ed," Al said, somewhat worried that his older brother was going to drown himself.

"MFFT?" Ed asked, turning around for Al to see a bar of soap sticking out of his mouth.

"Brother!" Al shouted, grabbing the soap and yanking it away from Ed.

"I think I- _hic- _got it. _Hic!_" Ed said, with soap suds on his face and bubbles flying out of his mouth while he talked, "Egh, that's bad, but not as bad as the milk!"

**Eds: ***point at each other* Wow, you're shorter than me… *face palm* OH NO! I JUST ADMITTED I'M SMALL!

**Ed: **CROSSDRESSING! Who do you take me for? Envy?

**Al: **er, brother…

**Ed: **WHAT, AL! *looks down to see that he's wearing a skort and a tank top* Wh-what h-how?

**Fangirls: **Hehehehe… *snapping pictures*

**Ed: **OH D(EEP)! *runs into room and slams the door behind him*

**Fangirls: ***nosebleed*

**Al: **Did anyone else see a "kick me" sign on brother's back?

**Silver: **Nope! *smiles innocently while sticking a sign that says "I failed my IQ test" to Greed*

**Ed: **OH GOD D(EEP) YOU, YOU B(EEP)D!

**Hoenhiem: **O_O *punched with metal fist*

**Ed: ***accidentally walks into girls bathroom*

**(all girls turn around to face him)**

**FMA Fan: **Ohmygod! It's the FullMetal Alchemist!

**Other Girls: **O_o the who? *trying to shove Ed out of the room*

**Random girl: **OMG IS THAT EDWARD ELRIC!

**Ed: **AGH! *mauled by a combination of crazed fans and other girls who are calling him a "peeping tom" and trying to shove him out of the room*

**Ed: **I'd probably make it if it was for Al. He is my little brother after all!

**(returning to Amestris)**

**Ed: **I THE DESERT! THERE'S NOTHING BUT SAND, SAND, SAND, SAND! AND IT'S HOT AND IT'S A MISERABLE PLACE AND I HATE IT!

**Al: ***shakes head* brother…

These are from TheCrimsonGhost309:

Riza: Do you have any other tattoos we should know about? *Runs before getting shot.*

Also, what will happen if you read VERY LEMONY RoyAi fics?

Aaand, what were your last thoughts when you were going to die in episode 59?

Ed: Why do you like the color red so much? And why don't you tie your hair in a ponytail more? It really suits you! And what's your opinion about that picture of you and Winry from the credits...You know what picture!

Roy, have you ever set yourself on fire? And when are you going to get married to Riza? JUST DO IT ALREADY!

Havoc, really man, how many cigarettes do you smoke a day?

Lan Fan, can you show us your ninja skills and steal something embarrassing from everyone?

Pride, do your shadows control YOU, or do you control them?

Envy, why did you choose the form of that cute palm tree? Any particular reasons?

Lust, how many boyfriends did you have?

**Riza: **O_O I don't believe that's any of your business. *reads one EXTREMELY lemony Royai fic* *takes out gun, shoots computer screen and walks out p..*

**Ed: **Didn't I state this in Brotherhood? I like it because red is a bad a(EEP) color that gets the blood flowing! *glares* stop censoring me d(EEP) it! Silver you b(EEP)!

**Silver: -_-'** I'll pretend I didn't hear that last comment.

**Ed: **Anyway, I don't tie my hair up like that because the braid keeps it out of my face better. When it's up in a ponytail it can still fly around and get in your eyes, which can REALLY screw you in the middle of an important fight. Uh… *slight blush* …nice picture?

**Roy: **HAHAHAHA! No one with MY level of skill would EVER set themselves on fire!

**Riza: **What about that time when my father was training you and you-

**Roy: **Lieutenant! This is why I haven't asked her yet -_-'

**Silver: **Does that mean you've CONSIDERED it?

**Roy: **Mind your own business, kid!

**Havoc: **Umm… five?

**Silver:** Ladies and gentlemen, behold the reason why Havoc can't get a girlfriend!

**Havoc: **Heeeey!

**Pride: **What kind of a remark was that? Of COURSE I control them! What do you take me for? Some lowly pawn of the shadows?

**(well he IS Pride!)**

**Envy: ***eyes narrow dangerously* I. AM. NOT. A. PALM. TREE! I just experiment when I'm bored sometimes! When I find one I like, I stick with it for a while! I made one, I found it cute, I kept it! Do you have a PROBLEM with that, human?

**Lust: **How should I know? Homunculi can't remember their past lives as humans. I think I only had one though, and he was apparently Scar's brother as we all know.


	6. Pride is awesome, Greed is broke

These are from mii is miao mii:

Here's more questions...

ed, how many times were you being sat on by a dog? do you like dogs? Or do you prefer cats? Why don't you want to rare a cat? Did they ever did anything bad to you? did they ever made you drank milk? or is it the thought that they love milk that disturbs you? Which Al do you prefer? The one in conquerer of shamble before he cuts his hair or the one at the end of brotherhood?

In the original anime who did you have a crush on? the thief that you met in water city? Rose in Lior? Or Winry the one that always hit you on the head with a wrench? Or maybe Noah from Conquerer of shambala?

oh and the Alphonse Heiderich from conquerer of shambala did you ever read any Yaoi fanfics about him and you? If you did what was your reaction if he suddenly come and visits you?

**Ed: **Umm… three…

**Al:** Brother stop lying!

**Ed: **Grr! FINE! *counts off*

**(three hours later)**

**Ed:** *still counting* And I AM a DOG person! I have nothing against cats though, haven't I said a billion times that I won't get a cat because there's no time to take care of it!

**Al: ***sniffle* We do too! You're just being cold! *cries*

**Ed: **A-AL!

**(after Ed had successfully calmed Al down…)**

**Ed:** HOW THE H(EEP) COULD A CAT MAKE ME DRINK MILK! THEY DON'T HAVE THUMBS SO IT'S NOT LIKE THEY COULD HOLD A D(EEP) GUN TO MY HEAD AND FORCE ME TO DRINK IT!

***ka-chak***

**Ed:** what was that random noise?

**Roy: **It sounded like a gun being cocked…

**Ed: ***slowly turns around to see a cat with a gun behind him holding a bottle of milk*

**Cat: **Drink the milk, punk!

**Ed: **AIIIIIYAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! *hides in closet* I hate cats… I hate cats and the fact that they love milk… *rocking back and forth* I hate cats…

**(Two hours later we had finally managed to shove a gun-wielding cat out of the studio and Ed got out of the closet)**

**Ed:** *recovers from shock* Hmm… I have to say I like Al both ways. After all he's my brother and the important thing is he finally got his body back like I promised. *smile*

**Al: **BROTHER! *sparkly eyes*

**Ed: **I-I never had a crush… not on anyone….

**Winry: **ED! HOW DARE YOU!

**Ed: **GAH! *hit with wrench*

**Winry: **A-and I th-thought y-you liked m-me!

**Ed: **Uhh… *awkward hug*

**Al H.: **Uhm… what's "yaoi" and "fanfic?" Is it food?

**Silver: ***shows Al H. yaoi*

**Al H.: **OH MY GOSH!

**Al: ***enters room* Hey, what up?

**Al H.: ***freaking out on the inside* ehehehehe… nothing…

From Morpheus9494

Al: What is the funniest thing you've seen Ed do?

Ed: Sum up your life in five words.

Winry: Suppose Ed gave you flowers everyday, always said you Automail is the best, and drank his milk. Would you keep that Ed, or go with the short-tempered kid?

Riza: I dare you to not have have your guns for the next chapter.( Hopefully, Roy won't do anything.)

May: Suppose you were the empress of Xing. Besides helping your family, what would you do?

Pride: In under one minute, describe yourself as fast as you can. (I can already tell this is going to be a lot of words. -.-)

**Al: **well… I think it went something like this…

Ed was sitting in a hospital room. He was tired and ticked as heck that he had had a run-in with Scar (again) and had been sent to the hospital (again).

"EDWARD!" Winry shouted, bolting into the room, "Oh my god! You're-

Ed was actually expecting her to say something like "thank god you're alright!" or "I-I can't believe you're in the hospital! How're you feeling?" What came next should have been no surprise, yet it shocked the boy just the same.

"YOU'RE SUCH A RECKLESS JERK!" she shouted, a wrench connecting with the side of his already sore head.

"OUCH!" he shouted, "I'm bad off as it is and you're hitting me with a wrench?" he demanded, "You coulda killed me!"

"Well then, it's a good thing we're in a hospital!" Winry replied angrily, glancing over at the tray his lunch had been on, "You didn't drink your milk," she accused.

"If you have such an obsession with people drinking milk then YOU drink it!" Ed grumbled.

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? WHY WON'T YOU DRINK IT!" she shouted.

"IT'S GROSS! IT'S WHITE AND IT TASTES LIKE CRAP!" he exploded.

"Am I interrupting something?" Hughes said, an anime sweat drop appearing on his head when he saw the two of them.

"Oh," Winry said, "Mr. Hughes, nice to see you!"

"Nice to see you missy!" he smiled, "and Ed, glad to see you're okay."

Ed was mumbling something about being in the hospital and how that didn't seem like being "okay" to him when a second voice spoke. "Okay, you've checked in and he's fine! Let's go!" Mustang said entering the room.

"Well, if isn't colonel b(eep)d!" Ed mumbled.

Mustang smirked and looked down at the bottle of milk. "You know, that may be why you're so short Fullmetal! HAHAHAHAHA!" he laughed.

"Shut up!" Ed growled, attempting to leap out of bed and tackle the colonel.

"You can try to get him to drink it if you want," Winry said, "but he's a mule, he says he doesn't like it because it's white and it tastes like crap."

"Reeeeealy?" Mustang asked, an evil smirk appearing on his face.

Mustang left the room an returned a few minutes later with a full of something brown with no label on it.

"Here," he said, tossing it to Ed.

The blond alchemist made a face. "What is this?" he demanded.

"Chocolate," Mustang said, "go ahead and try it."

Ed warily opened the bottle and took a sip of the contents. It tasted like chocolate… and something else…

"Hm," he said, "Not bad! What is this really?" he asked, not trusting the colonel's first answer.

"I told you Fullmetal, it's chocolate," he answered.

Ed shrugged and took another gulp of the drink.

"Milk," Mustang added.

Ed's eyes widened and he spat the milk out, grabbing the first drink he could get his hands on to wash the substance out of his mouth. He took one gulp and his eyes got even bigger (if that was possible). Ed looked at the bottle of plain, white milk he was holding in disbelief.

"OH D(EEP) IT!" he exploded, "WATEEEEEER!"

**Al: ***laughs* that my friend is definitely the most hilarious thing I've ever seen brother do!

**Ed: **Al… -_-' Five words huh? Here it goes… *clears throat* Bits have been a pain. *glares at Mustang when he says this*

**Winry: **Well I would like him to be more cooperative but still… I think if we got along like that and never argued it would get boring after a while. I think I'll stick with the short tempered kid.

**Ed: ***mutters something about Winry calling him short*

**Silver: ***locks guns in a cabinet* heheheheh….

**Roy: ***smiiiiiiiiirk* Hello Lieutenant! *arm around Haweye's shoulder*

**Riza: ***dropkicks Mustang* Hello colonel… -_-'

**May: **Hmm… Do my best to rule the country better than THEM! *points at Yao clan*

**Ling: ***mouth full* heeeeeeeey…

**May: **and propose to Alphonse! *squees*

**Pride: **I'm awesome and cute and I can fight and I'm second-in-command and I could kick Envy's a(EEP) if I wanted and I'm cool and evil and scary and-

**Silver: **Times up!

**Pride:** How DARE you interrupt me!

**Silver: ***pushes Pride out of the studio*

**Pride: ***shouting from the other side of the door* AND FUNNY AND POWERFUL AND INCREDIBLE!

**Silver: ***rubs bridge of nose* and annoying and stupid and a total ego maniac… -_-'

**Pride: **SHUT UP! I'M TALKING!

And these last ones are from akhal-teke:

Pride: Are you often mistaken for Stewie Griffin from Family Guy?

Wrath: Have you ever been ordered to go to an anger management meeting?

Greed: Can I borrow 50 bucks?

Sloth: Have you ever considered entering the Kentucky Derby?

Lust: Which would you rather be, a baloon vendor or a masseuse?

Gluttony: Which would be more disgusting for you to eat, healthy fruits and vegetables, or anything from Taco Bell?

Envy: Are there any famous celebrities that are actually just your transformed alter-egos?

**Pride: **What! NO! One, I have more than four hairs on my head and two, I'm so much more AWESOME!

**Wrath: **WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME! *punches wall* I. DO. NOT. NEED. ANGER. MANAGEMENT! *takes out swords and slices random things*

**Greed: **what! NO IT'S MINE!

**Silver: **Cough it up! *holds out hand*

**Greed: **N-no! Never! It's MY money!

**Silver: ***arches eyebrow*

**Greed: ***hides under table and strokes money* My presssssiousssssssss…

**Silver: ***whistles* ALEXANDER!

***Alexander bounds into the room and sits on Greed***

**Greed: **GAH! *drops money*

**Silver: **Here! *gives akhal-teke money*

**Greed: **NOOOOOOOOO! DX

**Envy and Silver: **ROFLMAO!

**Sloth: **Zzzzz… answering is… too much work…

**Lust: **How about neither? *nails of death*

**Gluttony: **Ummm… *looks at Lust* what's a "Taco Bell?" Can I eat it?

**Envy: **Psh, I have BETTER things to do than prance around as one of your little human celebrities!

**Silver: **You sure?

**Envy: ***death glare*

**Silver: ***backs up* He's sure… ^_^"


End file.
